The Diocesan Director of Ordinands (DDO) is an essential, pivotal figure in your discernment journey. It is easy to view them as a gatekeeper—the person standing between you and the panel—but I see the DDO as a conduit and a guide with a wealth of experience to share. They are there to help you navigate the complex machinery of the Church. However, their ability to help you is entirely dependent on your own clarity, vulnerability, and honesty.

To that end, sharing your neurodiversity and processing needs early in the relationship doesn't just help you in your initial conversations with them; it lays a foundation of support that carries you all the way through the discernment process.

Here are the practical steps I took to ensure the people assessing me understood my neurodivergence, allowing me to access the support I needed to show up at my absolute best.

1. Honesty at Every Step: The Power of Disclosure

It is vital to tell the diocese about your neurodivergence right from the starting line. If you don't tell someone, they simply don't know. More importantly, even if you tick a box or declare it on a standard application form, that doesn't guarantee the person reading it truly grasps how it impacts your processing, communication, or daily life. Forms are static; neurodivergence is dynamic.

In my initial in-person conversation with my DDO, I made a point to speak directly about my Dyslexia. Later, when my formal ADHD assessment results came through, I followed up with those details immediately. Being open and consistently honest at every step removes the guesswork for everyone involved.

Advocacy is Not Apology This honesty must carry forward beyond the DDO's office. I made sure to tell every single person I spoke to in my Stage One interviews that I had Dyslexia and asked them to bear with me. I put it on my forms for Stage Two, and it was actively reinforced by my DDO's written comments.

Crucially, this wasn't me being apologetic. I wasn't saying "sorry for my brain."

I was being explicitly clear that I am likely to be slow in processing some types of information and might need an extra few seconds to formulate a response. I am used to looking people in the eye and saying, "Look, I need you to understand my disability so we can communicate effectively." This simple, unapologetic clarity pre-empts misunderstanding and sets a productive, professional tone.

Your DDO can and will help you figure out how to word these disclosures. They can help settle your nerves if you are unsure how an assessment panel might react, and they can help you understand exactly what type of reasonable adjustments can be made at each stage.

2. Set Firm Communication Expectations

For anyone managing ADHD and Dyslexia, the method of communication isn't just a preference—it can be the difference between prompt success and total executive paralysis. Set your communication boundaries clearly from the start.

For me, the preferred method of communication is email. If my phone rings unexpectedly, I am likely not picking it up. Unscheduled calls demand instant processing and immediate verbal responses, which spikes my anxiety. However, if you email me, I will often reply within ten minutes. Establishing this expectation—email only, please—smoothed things out immediately. It leverages my ADHD hyperfocus and ensures reliable, stress-free communication.

This principle goes beyond how you schedule meetings with diocesan staff; it applies to how you handle information during the assessments themselves.

For example, if you are handed a piece of text to read during an interview and you have Dyslexia, setting a clear expectation in the moment is vital. Saying, "I am going to take some time to read this, and I will need a moment to process it before I answer," does two very important things:

1. It shows you care enough about the process to say, "I need a moment to give you my best answer."

2. It demonstrates that you know your own limitations. Self-awareness is a key, highly sought-after quality in discernment.

3. Define the Support You Need

Do not wait to see what help is offered; be proactive and transparent about what support you are looking for. This allows you to map out exactly what accommodations are available at every stage of the journey.

• Disclose Your Specific Needs: Be highly specific about the practical support that helps you function. Do you need printed materials on coloured paper? Do you need a specific sans-serif font? Do you require extended time for written tasks or reading assignments? Name it clearly.

• Understand Their Offer: Ask your DDO directly what support the diocese typically offers. What accommodations are standard practice during the discernment panels, and what support carries over into theological training and beyond?

Having this shared conversation ensures that even if the diocese cannot match your exact request perfectly, you clearly understand the baseline support they do offer. From there, you can negotiate further if necessary, keeping you firmly in the driver’s seat of your own discernment journey.